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My Portable Magic

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It got me thinking that accidents aren't accidents at all. Maybe all of the coincidences that we happen to come across are strategically planned so that two people can find each other when they are desperately searching for another... or maybe they're planned so that those two people can find each other when they are searching for someone else. Maybe those people are there to remind us that there is someone so much better suited for us. Someone out there is exactly who we need, at exactly the right time. Someone to help us forget about all the others before. And I am still flipping through the book, trying to find out exactly where to put you because up until now, there isn't just one page you fit on. I can't find the criteria that correctly labels you. You are one of a kind. You are special.

I remember reading this like it was yesterday. I remember reading this and feeling like there wouldn't come a time where you would be gone. And now, there are so many more moments where I wonder if I will ever see your name pop-up again. Because the days turned into months, months turned into years. You became a part of my memory, a part that is so far away that it is hard to remember that crook in your smile. I think there will always be a silent hope that you will find your way back; that you still look for me in the crowds. That your pace would still speed up as I came into your line of vision. Because I still look for you, my heart beats faster when someone resembles you. I fear that, that moment if we ever cross paths again - the slow recognition of what was lost being found again. Wondering if you thought of me in the years that have passed, wondering if you still care. I never wanted to be that person, the one who looks for someone in a crowd, the one waiting. But I have become that person looking for you. And the sad truth is that the only proof that you existed in my life is through the letters that have become weathered and the emails that I can't delete. You are a fiction that I hold onto. Why? Because I'm still filled with hope.

And if you forget, let me be the first to remind you. Let my words whisper in your ear at night when the rest of the world is asleep. Rinse, and repeat. Because we all make beautiful mistakes, we do. We fail, we fall. But we rise back up, we learn, we become better. We fill our tanks, every now and again, with so much negativity that our hearts beat rapidly in our chests working on overdrive just to remind us that it is still there. We lock away our happiness and feed our sorrows. We doubt ourselves, and fail to trust. But we push forward, our journeys start over. We begin to seize the day, the opportunities. We work on our crazy dreams, we grow our visions. We fall down seven times, and stand up eight. We all have amazing talents, passions, purpose. We are powerful. We can change the world. This world can be dark, and fear will have its hold on you. But even after the worst storms, the sun shines again. Better days will always be around the corner. Just hold on.

Mother Nature doesn't know what she wants to do with our Canadian weather. Ok be minute we are loving life in the mid to high 20s and the next day it is pouring rain, sitting in the negatives. I just want a warm Fall day with the ability to see the leaves change colour.

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