Gone

Time is a funny thing.
But time also looks different to everyone…
what could really only be a few months time to someone,
is a lifetime for others.

Time is about perspective.

And, even still, where we are now – I wouldn’t change anything that has happened.

And, even still, I think about you – wondering if you are actually okay.

And, even still, I think if what you show to me is truth or a false pretense.

I want you to know that I wish you all the best in this life, and whatever else comes afterwards. Because regardless of how you might feel in the next while, all of the things that I have ever said to you or the memories that we had – it all meant something.

It was all real… every last minute of it.

I hope you still remember me telling you that you had, and probably will continue to have, a big impact on my life. Even though forever wasn’t in our cards, doesn’t mean that while we were together that you didn’t mean the most to me. I will always cherish the things that you gave me, the things that you helped me perfect – self-worth, self-respect, and the capability to understand the love that I am worthy of and deserve.

If we’re being honest, I am the one responsible for a lot of the turmoil here – I am not denying it. What I hope you come to realise, as time moves on, is where you went wrong too. And, while two (or, let’s be honest here, four or five) wrongs don’t make a right, what happened – happened. And now, now we don’t owe each other anything because at the end of the day, to build a connection that we tell each other things is a long shot.

Regardless, I want you to know how sorry I am for the times I hid away everything that was going on and pretended like everything was a-o-kay. I want you to know that I am sorry for allowing you to watch my moods shift and change. I want you to know that I am sorry for allowing you to witness all of the things that I put you through.

There was a time I thought all of this was temporary only to understand that from how it all ended, there would be no coming back from it. I hope that you find the closure, the help that you need because there is only so much I could do when my hands were already tied behind my back. I hope that even though things didn’t go as planned, you look back and remember the good without the dark clouds coming into play.

I can only wish that one day you will be able to be that free spirit you once were. I hope that you are able to appreciate moments again. I hope you are able to trust, to understand, to love.

Because you are an incredible human.

It was a privilege getting to know you, to build everything that we did together. And, even though that day was hard, we just weren’t made for one another.

I am still incredibly happy that I got to have you in my life.

Remember: you still have an incredible influence on the people that you have in your life. And, if nothing else, you still bring an incredible amount of light into this world – don’t lose it.


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