“I just don’t understand,” she looked up at me slowly, her face riddled with tears. I could see the pain, the impossible feeling of when will this be over on her face.
“Darling,” I began, “right now, right now you don’t have to understand anything. All you have to do is get it out, let those feelings go,” I squeezed her hand tighter, letting her know that I had her.
“But, I…” the tears came then as she finished her sentence, “I thought he was the one. How could I have been so wrong?”
It’s in these moments where I wish I could take all of that pain away. It’s in these moments that I wish I knew what to say. It’s in these moments where sometimes silence is all that can be used to help, to comfort.
So, we sat there.
When the time was right, after hours of crying and wiping noses, I looked at her again. Her breathing had slowed, the tears clinging to her cheeks as the dried. I squeezed her hand, “I don’t think you have to know right now why it didn’t work. I think you had to fall in love with the wrong person to teach you a lesson…”
Her eyes slowly looked up to mine, expectant, “Can you finish, please?”
“I think you need to fight, to cry, to loose sleep. You need to fail, scream, run. You need to escape but you also need to embrace. Because you need to have relationships like this, you need to have breakups like this,” I squeezed her tiny hand again, the trembling had stopped.
“Because, soon enough, that feeling in your chest, the one where you just want to give up and renounce love for the rest of your life – it will go away. Because, I think you need to go through all of this for the right person, the right relationship. Because it’s then that you will finally be able to understand that all of the bad things that you went through were only so you could love them harder, and more than anyone else. It’s then that you will be able to forget everyone that came before them. It’s then that you can finally understand what love really looks like.”
I looked back up into those green eyes of hers, holding them, and smiled.
Because I am her.
And I finally believe that.