Obstacles /ˈäbstək(ə)l/ (noun): a thing that blocks one’s way or prevents or hinders progress
Naturally we will all run into some form of obstacles whether it is physical, emotional or spiritual. These obstacles provide us with some of the hardest lessons, toughest choices; but, they do bring growth.
Have you ever been so close to someone that you just wish you could take all of their suffering away? Remove all of the obstacles that plague them, and just have all of their burdens fall away…
I know I do, every single day. I have watched too many people around me suffer in silence until it all becomes too much. I feel it, I see it. Sometimes I can help them, sometimes I can’t – or I am told that I am not needed in the situation, to go.
But, when you love someone, you can’t leave them hanging when they come to you for help. You shouldn’t walk away while their crying their eyes out. You shouldn’t watch from afar, as if you are afraid to touch them as they curl in on themselves. You can’t disappear until they are feeling better because you can’t deal with the hardships.
When you love someone, you stick around even when it gets messy. You try to help them as much as you can – as much as they will let you.
I promise that it is okay if you can’t help them because at least you can be there to hold them. You can be there to listen to them as they vent – broken and confused. You can remind them that no matter what, you are here, you aren’t going anywhere.
In these cases, it’s not about you – the only thing that matters is them. Don’t dismiss their feelings. Don’t abandon their thoughts. Let them come to you, on their own, and then you can try to work on it as a team – if that’s what they want. Their misery should be your misery. Their problems should be your problems.
You are allowed to be sad, but you should never be sad alone.
If you love them, you have to take the good with the bad. You can’t have the highs without the lows. You need to be their for your partner because they will always be there for you.
Things aren’t going to go as planned. You’re going to have to deal with all of the unexpected circumstances that life throws at you. You’re going to have to grab the damn Kleenex box and have some tough conversations.
Because that’s what relationships are; they aren’t always filled with glitter and gold. They can be stressful, they can be complicated. Life doesn’t sit back and hand you rewards just for the helluva it – even the best people, the best relationships experience tough times.
If someone is going through pain, you can’t be mad that they aren’t themselves. You can’t frustrated over anything. They need to heal. You have to be there every step of the way – for them. You have to give space, but also know when to hold them closer.
And, the number one thing, the one thing that is the way to overcoming any obstacle – keeping the lines of communication open. Everyone handles their problems in different ways, and that’s okay, you won’t be able to play some guessing game with how they are feeling. You won’t be able to always know what is going on inside their minds. You need to talk in order to figure things out. You need to make sure that their thoughts, your thoughts, our thoughts can somehow get to the same page.
When you love someone, you stick around for all the moments. You can’t run away when there are troubles.
If you believe they are worth it, then you need to help them overcome their biggest hurdles, when they need you.
Remind them of this: “Hey, I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. I will love you through it all.”