Anxiety, in varying degrees, is experienced by so many people around the world. It isn’t until you have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder that you begin to understand so much about yourself and your relationship. You also begin to understand that the way you were loved before no longer works – things have to change.
Because someone with anxiety will be inclined to assume that everyone is going to leave – so much so that the one ruining the relationship isn’t you but them. The control that they once thought they had no longer applies because the sense of insecurity that is found within your mind overpowers everything else. And instead of becoming a burden they would rather just push and push until you leave them.
But maybe, those people that are riddled with anxiety, maybe those are the people that you have to love a little harder – show them that they are worth fighting for.
And it won’t be easy.
There will be stupid fights over scenarios that don’t even exist.
But that fight will turn into something beautiful when it’s all over.
Because now they will understand exactly what they mean to you – that you’re not going anywhere.
And, please, please don’t tell them: “You’ll get over it,” or “You’re overreacting.” These words trigger the worst feelings. These words make rational thoughts become irrational very fast. It will keep them up at night.
Instead, remember this: “It’s okay,” or “It will be okay.”
Because every worst case scenario will play out in their heads when you talk – they will slowly begin to question everything.
Do you not see how they text you back so quickly? And when you don’t respond back, you have a hundred and one messages waiting for you?
Because that silence that follows their messages will KILL anyone with anxiety. It creates problems inside their minds that aren’t even there. It ends in, “I’m Sorry,” when it isn’t even needed.
Just remember, those riddled with anxiety care so much, maybe too much.
And even if they cancel last minute or space out when you two are out on the town; if they tell you that they have to go, don’t feel like you need to go with them if you want to stay. Just remember, they tried – they just couldn’t handle it. Because a trigger for a lot of episodes is the exhaustion that comes from groups of people.
“I’m sorry,” becomes repetitive – just accept it. Accept it even if you don’t understand where the apology is coming from. Because at the end of the day, those with anxiety will feel the shift in any mood or action from you.
Remember to help them because they will never admit defeat or when something is actually wrong. They will never admit that they can handle it. And when they push you back from trying to hold them, that’s when you fight and hold them tighter.
Build the trust. Cherish it. Don’t lose it, no matter what happens.
Because once they trust you, they will love you so fucking hard.
This is where they will shine.
They will adore you.
They will appreciate you.
And even if it takes a long time to gain that trust, once they do, their capacity to love you will fill you in ways that you didn’t even realize you needed before.