Impossible View

We had a great day, but then, you had a bad dream.

We didn’t sleep that night.

We just sat together, talking to one another, making sure that everything that happened in dreamland didn’t affect the reality that was us.

Because there has been so many times, so many, where I have woken up – shivering – and the entire day would be thrown off.

I never said that I would be alright, just thought that I would be able to hold myself together.

It would be as if I couldn’t breathe, so I would go get some air – whoever started the trend of going outside to make things better…

Whatever, I’m fine now, it doesn’t matter.

I just didn’t want it to happen to you.

I didn’t want you to feel like that.

Because we had a great day.

But, I can’t breathe again, I am suffocating.

But yet, all I can think about is if you are okay – you.

Because I am the nurturer. It is what I have been programmed to be (God, why did this have to be the path I was put on?). I can’t escape it, I’ve tried (maybe not hard enough).

I’m suffocating.

Because every time I dream of blasting off into space, looking at the Earth from above, I wake up falling.

Those dreams used to be my favourite.

Knowing the impossibility of the view – but it was my favourite.

Now I fear it.

What does that say about me?


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