My Portable Magic

I hate this… this never-ending cycle of getting to see you only on your terms.

Just once, that’s all I’m asking for, just once I wish you could be here – right now.

Because that’s all I need, just you.

I wish you were here.

I wish I could smell the lotion that sits on your face, glued there to soften the stubble that sits on your cheeks. I wish I could hear the gasping for air after every kiss we share. I wish I could feel your warmth, your body pressing up against mine.

Because that’s all I want, you holding me, enveloping me in your arms as you whisper into my ear.

I wish you were here.

I wish you could be here to soothe the waves that have been crashing against the shores inside my mind. I wish you were here to be that ship guiding me steadily to the calm waters. I wish you could battle alongside me, holding my heart in your hands as we fight all of the struggles that our relationship has already challenged us with. I wish you were here to make it feel less like drowning and more like navigating the current.

Because that’s all I need, you to remind me that together we can get through it.

I wish you could hold my hand, squeezing it ever so slightly as you glance my way out of the corner of your eyes. I wish I could feel your body close to mine. I wish you could tame the emptiness that fills my heart. I wish you were here to whisper my name, reassure me of your love, to prove to me that I am a priority.

Because that’s all I want, you next to me.

I wish you could be here, reminding me that it will all be worth the wait. I wish you were here to show me that this pain, the one I feel daily without you, is just temporary.

But all I can see right now is the imprint of your silhouette as you walk away, a painful image that reminds me of all the things that I say goodbye to as you leave. I can see your outline but still I’m left wishing for your presence.

I wish you were here.

Because all I need is you, just you.