The Way I’ll Love You

I’m going to love you, it’s inevitable.

How do I know?

Because I’m already all in.

There’s going to be days where I am going to love you loudly because I am not going to let the worry take hold of my heart. I will stand up, proclaim it loudly because the love I have for you I hold so tightly. There’s going to be days where I won’t be afraid to say it out loud because even though saying it out loud makes it so abundantly real, you are my new reality, and that deserves to be cherished in every way possible. And even if it’s fast, even if it’s taking so many risks, we are all I want to believe in – I’m going to be our biggest fan.

But there are going to be days where I am going to have to love you quietly. I will grab your hand, squeeze it three times signifying everything that we can’t say out loud. I will whisper “I love you,” so quietly that it will send goosebumps down your back. Our hands will brush, our smiles will slowly appear. Our breathes will catch. Only we will know.

Because there are going to be days where I struggle… with life, with love, with keeping going.

But you always need to remember that I am still that person – the silly, smiley, hopeless romantic that you first fell in love with.

And I am going to need you to tell me that everything is going to be okay, that everything is going to come together. Because there are going to be so many moments where I question where this is going, and if it’s going to end.

And I promise I don’t want to run away from you – I want to run away with you.

Because there are too many moments saying goodbye and not enough spent in your arms.

Because there are too many moments where I know our smiles don’t make our cheeks hurt… mostly because we aren’t together.

Just know, some days my love is quiet, some days it’s loud.

But it’s always there.

My love for you is always there. I will never leave you filling unfulfilled or empty-handed. And while my voice may falter with saying all of the words that encompass how I feel for you, the words I write will always tell you the same thing.

Because I am so madly in love with you.

Because it’s never felt like this before.

It’s just going to take me some time to be better – to know that you’re not going anywhere.

Because I will always reach for you in a room full of people.

Because I will always let you warm me up when I am cold.

Because I will say “I love you” loud enough for you to hear.

Just give me time.

Give me the time that I need.

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