Stop Saying No

There’s a difference between saying three words and meaning them.

Be the difference.

Because it’s easy to walk away, to close off your heart, to put those walls up so high you don’t remember what it looks like on the other side.

Because it’s easier to say no then to jump right in.

I know this because I do it.

I do it because it’s easier to keep a guard up then to feel broken.

I do it because it’s easier to push people away then get close… people always leave right?

I do it because it is easier to have a clear head rather than seeing everything through the cloud of love.

I do it because you make me nervous, you might not be it for me.

I do it because it’s easier to remember the people who have come and gone – the ones that have hurt me.

I do it because it’s easier to keep replaying all of the times that it didn’t work, the what ifs.

It do it because it’s easier to stay skeptical, questioning every action.

I do it because feeling myself love the wrong person has only made me realise how much I could love the right person.

I do it because it’s easy.

Because we always think that there is something better waiting around some corner, at some other time. We are told that the perfect person is out there, all we have to do is wait for exactly the right time.

But that is so fucking unrealistic.

It doesn’t happen that way – love doesn’t happen that way.

Because the perfect person will never come at the right time because the two don’t exist at the same time… and if they do, by golly, are you ever lucky.

We need to remember that for all of the people that have come and gone, we still loved them, and it all started with letting them into our crazy messed up world in the first place.

We will never find whatever it is we are looking for if we keep finding reason after reason for not taking chances.

So if there is anything you can give yourself this year, allow yourself to be open. Say hello, smile, say yes to that date you’ve been putting off. Put the small talk away and talk about everything that has ever mattered. Show off the passion, cherish the moments. Look forward – the past is something that will always be there and there is nothing you can do to change, sometimes you have to let go. 

You need to forget all of the people that have hurt you, just remember the lessons that they taught you – the way they showed you a different side of yourself. You may never fully remove them from your heart, and that’s okay, but sometimes you have to let go of all of the promises they ever made you and make new promises with someone else.

See the good in people. And as hard as it is, believe that everyone is looking for something meaningful – something real, and something honest. Because at the end of the day, there will be more people looking for that than some random hook-up.

Because most people are hoping, praying for a connection that won’t make them feel so lost, so alone.

You have a heart, you can feel it beating. You have a brain, your gears don’t stop moving. You have a gut, it won’t fail you.

Don’t be afraid to ask the tough questions. Talk about what inspires them to be the best possible version of themselves. Talk about art, about change, about music. Talk about what gets you up in the morning, what pushes you through the day, and what the last thing you think of before falling into the land of slumber.

But, most importantly, allow yourself to trust love one more time.

Because love is one of the most important choices we will ever make.

Because love means that two people are deciding that the time is now. Love is two people knowing that even though there may be a thousand other people out there built for them, here and now, it’s only them.

And sometimes, that’s all that matters.

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