I want you to know that I understand you, all of you. I understand how you feel, how your mind is in a constant battle between one voice and another. I understand how every time you get close to someone, your mind tells you that they will just get up and leave once they know. I understand the questions, the answers, the what ifs. I understand not feeling worthy.
But, trust me when I say, it is just your anxiety talking.
But it is not all of you.
I promise you that.
And I promise you this:
You are worthy. You are worthy of falling. You are worthy of love.
Your anxiety doesn’t make you ugly or broken. It doesn’t turn you into some monster, even if it feels like it does. It is just a tiny fraction of who you are. It is not your whole entire being and mind.
Don’t use your anxiety as an excuse anymore. Don’t let the others that have come before, the ones who have left you broken and wondering why, define love for you.
I know that you think you are broken.
Because where is the magic in being perfect? In being polished and put together?
There is beauty within your brokenness, in your bravery.
Don’t let your anxiety win. Don’t you dare let it control your heart. Don’t let it take first place. Don’t give it power.
You are someone who struggles with anxiety, you are not ruined by it. You are a human with cracks and scars, just like everyone else. You are a human who overthinks and over-analyzes. You are a human who goes through downward spirals, someone who struggles.
Anxiety is just a part of your story, not your entire book.
Don’t let the ones who have left tarnish your soul, your heart. They weren’t who you thought they were, and that’s okay. They don’t deserve to be a part of your life if they are not willing to accept all of you. Because they will make you wonder whether you are being selfish or controlling. They will leave you standing there contemplating if you should just grow up and stop being scared. They will make you hate yourself. They will bring out your greatest insecurities.
Because one day you will realize that the ones who are in front of you now, waiting to get to know you, are the ones that are meant to be there. We meet those people for a reason. They won’t run. They will love every part of you – even your anxious scattered parts. Don’t close yourself off. Don’t give up.