When I was younger I used to think that you were invincible. It was as if you were the greatest superhero. It was as if you were immortal.
I knew you were sick. I seen it, I smelled it, I felt it. But that didn’t mean I believed there would ever be a day that I would spend without you. I definitely didn’t think that day would come so suddenly.
There was so much that you still had to witness. There was so many words left unsaid.
I still can’t wrap my head around it.
At 10, you are not supposed to lose your hero. At 10, you don’t know how to say goodbye. At 10, you are so set in your childhood that you fail to notice the reality of important things.
At least… I wasn’t.
I was the luckiest little girl to have had you not only as my Grandpa, but as my father. I was the unluckiest little girl to have to figure out how to navigate this world without my best friend and my most favourite person. Heaven is the lucky one now.
Heaven has you – it has had you for a long time now. Heaven has the one person that was supposed to be there for me no matter what. Heaven gets the one person who held the most wisdom, the most experience. Any person or place that gets to have you is the luckiest in this entire world.
You were the greatest, most loving person. I truly believe that anyone who crossed your path or came into contact with you left smiling, like a weight was lifted off of their shoulders. I don’t think anyone had anything bad to say about you. You were the best. You were my everything.
You are everything I strive to be. You are everything I want my children to become.
Even though you lived a great, long life, I still believe that it was cut too short. There were so many things that you could have done. There were so many people you could have helped. It doesn’t seem right.
I know that you know I still talk to you – I can feel you there. I know that you know I am sitting here writing this about you because I am getting goosebumps on the back of my neck. I feel you around me all of the time. When the little things happen, I know that you are right there next to me. When the big things happen, I know that you are cheering me on. I know that you haven’t left me. I know that you never will.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I completely understand what it is like to have someone who made saying goodbye so incredibly tough. I was lucky because you were in my life. I was lucky because the bond that we built-in those 10 years was the strongest bond I have ever had. Even though the time I had with you was cut short, I got to spend that time cherishing and admiring your every step. I will never forget you – ever.