Life is messy. Life is chaotic. Life is beautiful.
Would you have it any other way?
I am sure that there are somethings in this life that we could do well without. But there are also things that we have to go through, things that we have to do, in order to become the people that we are meant to be. Things that are sometimes so excruciating that you don’t know how or when you will ever recover – but you do.
I know that many of you have done a number of these things, and probably some of them more than once – and that’s okay. Each time we do one of them, we learn a new lesson. We become better people for it.
Here are some of the terrible things that we have to do in life:
As we grow up, as we move away from our little hometowns, as we meet new people – we also have to come to grips with the fact that we are going to lose a number of people along the way. Whether it be due to distance, lack of communication, fights or falling outs – it happens. Sometimes you have to sit on the phone with someone and tell them that they are no longer good for your life. And even though it will be really hard, even though it may take them a long time to realize what it is that you meant – you can’t afford to have those people in your life. The ones that are meant to stay, the ones that will be there regardless of where life takes them – will be the ones that are your always people.
Fights happen. Arguments take place and in the heat of the moment so many things are said – and sometimes there will be things that are said that are unforgivable. You will scream, fists clenched, blood running hot. You will punch walls and break glasses. You will slam doors. You will go fucking crazy and let all of those emotions out. And it’s perfectly okay because other people will do the same. We are emotional creatures and we are not expected to keep all of our shit together 100% of the time.
Just like we are emotional creatures, we are not perfect people either. We will hate our jobs or the majors that we decided to take in university. We will get fired. Show up late to important things. Miss deadlines. We will literally stop giving a fuck. With all of this, acceptance will come and you will no longer settle for the mediocre shit that comes your way.
We also can’t always be trusted. It’s terrible but there are going to be times when you open your big ass mouth and tell someone’s secret to another. It’s awful and you will feel like shit for it. But this is also another time for a lesson to be learnt, you are (once again) not perfect. You will fuck up and make mistakes, everyone will. Eventually you will understand that in doing this, you broke trust and it is going to take a lot of time and energy to regain that. Eventually you will learn how to be a better person.
You are going to have feelings for all different kinds of people. Once again, we are emotional people and some of us fall in love all too easily. We will want someone to have all of ourselves but also want others to experience that too. We will want to have our cake and eat it too. We will want to have one last hoorah with an ex. We will want to show people all of the best things that we have to offer. We will want to have no strings attached and forget that our hearts don’t understand what that means. We will curse ourselves over and over again. But, ultimately, we will learn how to treat people with the respect and dignity that they deserve.
And you will hate yourself. You will. You are going to eat too much junk and not enough healthy food. You are going to stop exercising. You are going to drink too much. You are going to forget your morals. You are going to treat yourself like complete shit. You will learn how you hit rock bottom. You will learn to climb the mountain and make it to the top a better, stronger person.
We all have to be broken in order to heal. We all have to rip off the scars in order to repair the damage underneath. We will break hearts, and in turn, have our hearts broken too. If your gut instinct is telling you that there is nothing left in this relationship, there is no point in holding back your feelings or settling. Break up even if it is going to hurt. Do it even if they sit there and break down in front of you, begging you for a second chance. Do it because, in the end, it was the right thing to do. Then watch as their heart breaks and they curse the day that they ever met you. Watch them hate you. In this, you will learn the messy part of love and life. Not everyone is going to like you, or love you. You are not the devil, you are human, and they will be okay.
Because your heart is going to break too. You are going to mess up and mess up some more. You are going to fall down seven times and only barely pick yourself up the eighth time. You will fail, fail, and fail some more. Break your own heart but never stop learning. Learn from the mistakes, the failures, the missed opportunities, the heartbreak. Learn how to love yourself despite it all.