It’s Been How Long? Why Aren’t You Married?

I don’t know how many times I get asked these questions followed by the remarks of how impressive it is to be in a relationship so long. I get it – not many people who are married these days can say that they have been with the same person for over 10 years. I get it – we are young and it is a great feat that we have been together since high school. 

But at the same time, these questions drive me insane.

So, when you ask me these questions I will say this:

I’m not married yet because I know that marriage is not easy. I can see it in the friends that I have that got married too young or for the wrong reasons. I can see it in the people who get stuck in a marriage. I can see it in the way people’s lives crumble. Marriage is not something I take lightly, and you shouldn’t either. Marriage is not something that you just get into, at least, I don’t want to. Because marriage is something I only want to do once, I want to be able to say it was the right time. I want to be able to do it right. So, I am not going to take your advice here. I am not going to marry the person that loves me more, the one is seems like he is going to be the perfect husband or amazing father but doesn’t allow my heart to skip a beat and my tummy to get butterflies. I am not going to get married just because it is the next logical step in all of your minds.

I’m not married yet because I am not done learning. With each step forward that I take, I am learning new lessons. These lessons are teaching me how to grow, how to live, how to love. They teach me what I want, what I need, what I cherish. These lessons teach me that I shouldn’t settle. They teach me how to dream, how to believe, how to change.

I’m not married yet because I don’t need the license or the ring to tell me how I should feel. I also know that sometimes marriage changes things even if your feelings don’t. There are added pressures and sometimes that greatest relationships out there falter once marriage is added into the mix. That isn’t something I want to happen and that is something I am not sorry for. Marriage is something I don’t want to fail at.

I’m not married yet because it simply hasn’t been written into the plans that are laid out for me. There is still something out there that is making me wait. There are other plans out there for me right now. I have other things to focus on, other things that are waiting for me to find them. I have a purpose. Other parts of my story are being written and that is completely fine. Maybe a wedding will come in the latter chapters of my life, and when that happens we can all celebrate. I am still preparing myself for that day. I am shaping myself into the best person that I can be for him. I want to be everything he has ever dreamed of and more.

I have found him. We have each other. That is enough. 

It’s that simple.

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