Everyone Deserves a Good Dad Joke

On days like these where I have been riddled with goodbyes and see you arounds, I turn to my resident dad – Phil Dunphy – and sit back.

And now…

More dad jokes to soothe your soul.

How do you make a kleenex dance? You put a little boogey (insert terrible dance) in it!

What do you call a fake noodle? An (insert terrible Italian accent) ImmmmmPASTA

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged (point to your cup’o’joe)

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nawt-cho Cheese

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Eye-Dee-Ahs

Why couldn’t the bike stand up alone? It was (hold up two fingers) two tired

How do you make Holy Water? You boil the hell out of it

You know… people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine…

You know how birds fly in the V-formation and often times one side of the V is longer than the other… do you know why that is? There are more birds on that side

Whoever invented the knock knock jokes shouldn’t get a no-bell-prize

What’s Forrest Gumps WiFi password? 1forrest1

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now

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