You’re inside your head aren’t you? You are held up on someone who you had a prior connection or relationship with – waiting for them to come back, or wanting to confess your thoughts to them. Your heart is still aching over your last failed relationship – you are still missing them. Your soul is running on empty and can’t take much more of this; you trying to fill yourself up with meaningless relationships and one night stands. You know that they are only a distraction, a way to pass the time, a way to forget the pain.
You stay up at night thinking about where and when it all went wrong. You think about the final moments. You feel sorry for yourself, defeated, unworthy. You have yourself almost convinced that this will be how you will continue to feel even when they are long gone.
Darling, don’t fall for it. Don’t let your broken heart dictate your worth or if you will find someone else who will love you more than they ever did. You don’t have to spend your nights waiting for ‘the one.’ Don’t focus on that, let love find you.
See, if I have learned anything on this road I am on, it is that the world is a funny place. Time is even funnier. It will show us what we need and what we don’t, who is supposed to be in our lives and who isn’t. With time we know the things that we should let go of and what we are supposed to hold on tighter to. But, us being the human beings that we are, rarely listen to these subtle clues and trust that we hold on the answers.
Admit it, we have flaws. We are almost destined to fall for the people who are wrong for us to teach us the lessons that only being hurt can. We end up opening our hearts to the ones that leave and not the ones that stay. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable only to regret it afterwards. We convince ourselves that it is our fault for the collapse, the we will never taste the sweetness of the lips of someone we love.
But, darling, you will and it will be the sweetest thing to ever touch your lips.
It may take a while; you may find yourself twiddling your thumbs waiting for it to happen. It will happen when you least expect it, maybe even with the last person you ever imagined – but it will happen. It will be a slow burn, one so delicate you won’t believe it if you touched it with your fingertips.
It may come when you put your faith and trust in making deep connections with those far and wide. It may come when you are young, old, or somewhere in-between. It may come when you’re not quite ready to let someone else into your world.
But, darling, it will come.
I know you may not have an open heart right now. I know that you may not trust my words or even your own. I know that you are pushing people away as we speak, wanting to be on your own – find yourself. I know that you have fallen short of where you want to be, time and time again you have found yourself on the floor. I know that you are nervous to put yourself out there, to be vulnerable again.
I know that you have turned your back to love and to those who are trying to give it to you. I know you are scared to care too much, of falling to fast.
But I also know that you are longing to find that person – your person. You are itching away, trying to get close to someone. And I can tell you this, darling, the more you try to hide all of these feelings, in those moments before you close your eyes you are hoping for your one day.
Darling, your one day gets closer every time you open your eyes.
One day, love will find you. It will sneak up on you and intertwine itself within your body. It will fill all of those lonely places inside your heart and overflow the rest of you. It will make your heart lighter, your thoughts fluffy, your lungs full of fresh air. Your eyes will no longer see grey, they will see the rainbow. It will not only surprise you, scare you, but it will turn all of your doubts into safety.
It will be the one thing you didn’t realize you needed, and everything you have desired. It will be the something you prayed for, wished for, waited for.
Love will be all of the colours that you see combined into one.
Just be patient, darling. Know that, here and now, you deserve to be loved – you deserve that happiness. Whatever comes your way, whatever connections you build allow them to manifest into what they are naturally meant to be.
Let go of the bitterness, the negativity. Let go of the things that are our of your control.
Become unhindered, unburdened.
You are amazing. You are everything someone is looking for. You are worthy of your one big love. I believe in you.