Is Chivalry Dead?

What is chivalry to you? Do you even know what it means? Maybe the term is an outdated code used in medieval times, but who the fuck cares?

When did chivalry become more about sliding into a person’s DM’s, sending Snapchats that delete after you open them, swiping on Tinder?

I don’t know if it is just me, or if it is the world that we live in now, but everything is revolving around social media. Because it’s not official until you post it to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc. right? In today’s day and age we hide behind screens both small and large. We can get away with anything and everything because of private browsers or the simple tap of the delete button. Our generation is scared of commitment, of confrontation, of human contact unless it involves getting freaky. It feels like no one is actually dating or committing to one another, but holy shit, if some other girl/guy pops up in their messages, Snapchat, Instagram you better watch the fuck out.

What happened to catching the eye of a stranger at your local coffee joint? Meeting someone at the movies and being nervous to hold their hand? What happened to the slow progression of getting to know someone and falling for them?

Remember when we were younger and we had to ask permission to go anywhere? If they said no, then you just didn’t go – or you snuck out but that’s another post. There were also the times that we would sit down with the people we looked up to and would ask them about the qualities to look out for, we asked them for tips and tricks on how to talk to a boy/girl. You wouldn’t care about how you looked or how many likes it would get on the Internet, you just did it.

What happened to spontaneity? What happened to appreciating the small things?

Because here we are, talking to random strangers on the Internet to set up a time to Netflix and Chill (is that still a thing?)

Now, I have been in a relationship for a long time. I met him when I was 15, in high school, still figuring things out. That was also before the time of social media being the ‘it’ thing. We had the slow progression of getting to know one another. We did things together, it was spontaneous. We would see each other at school, outside of school. We would be kids. We figured things out, we worked at it. Pacing ourselves and sticking together through the hardest of times is what makes our relationship strong.

But it makes me wonder about a lot of things, especially since I work with children. Will they grow up not knowing what real dating is? Will they not know the kind of romance that you find in classic movies, in novels, or from stories from our elders? You know, the kind where you grab a coffee, sit in the back of a truck and look at the stars only to sneak into a horror movie so you can hold their hand.

Maybe our generation will realize everything that we have been doing. Maybe our generation will realize what we are missing out on. Maybe one day we can build those relationships out of friendships again. Maybe one day we can find and fight for something that is real.


3 thoughts on “Is Chivalry Dead?

  1. Yet another article that drew me in and kept me. I, too, remember the days of spontaneity and what they meant. You’re right. What we have today is a far cry from what we’re used to. Maybe 20 years down the road, kids will look on this time and wish for it again like you and I wish for our old days. It’s a sick cycle.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It really is. It’s heartbreaking to realize that the simple times of finding a person to simply open the door for you or ask you out to dinner and a movie are long gone. I just hope, for my own heart and maybe yours too, that old school romance is not dead.

      Liked by 1 person

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