I am not saying it is going to be easy, but it will be worth it, we are worth it.
We all have heard some variation of the above sentence, either from a movie, person, television, or the like. Anything in your life will not come to you easily, and it definitely won’t be easy to maintain. You have to put in the work, you have to fight, you have to want it. Let me repeat it: IT-WILL-NOT-BE-EASY. Let each word sink in.
We grow up on fairytales where the prince will come and sweep the princess off her feet and tada, happily ever after shortly there after. You want movies and television where boy meets girl and suddenly the romance is turned on. Everything is chalked up to the beautiful moments, the passionate sequences. From childhood all the way into adulthood we are fed the same stories, we have become acclimated to the dream not the reality. The one where everything comes easy and even if you fight, they will come running back. So, that’s what we search for, and that is what we try to replicate.
But if we keep searching for that, every time we will be disappointed.
Of course, in the beginning it is always going to come up rainbows. You probably wouldn’t stick around if it wasn’t. The romantic love that is there, is heartwarming, it is what you see in the movies. They message you back, they wonder about your day, they could talk to you for hours on straight through to morning. They will jump through every hoop to make you happy, to keep the smile on your face. It’s new, it’s exciting. You are running on a high that we are all addicted to even if we have never experienced it before.
But you always have to come down from that high. You have to place your feet back on the ground, and return to reality.
It is only than that we open our eyes and the things that we were blind to before become apparent. The flaws, the negative traits, the anger, the jealousy. When we are first getting to know someone we always put our best foot forward, we tend to shut the door to some of our not so nice traits. But then habit sinks in, routines become something that is second nature. After all this, who wants to make the effort to go from reality back to the dream? That’s not how it works… right?
This is when so many of us turn our backs and give up on something that made us so happy. Our expectations are no longer being met, the effort is just not being made. We all want something from one another but we are either too scared or too shy to communicate those wants. We just expect them to know – we expect too much.
Just say what you want, what you need. No one here has superpowers, no one can read your mind.
No one is easy to deal with 100% of the time – not even you, sorry. If you took a closer look in the mirror, you may find the things that you were so uncomfortable with in them, in you. If you dig deeper, you will become uncomfortable because you are forcing yourself to become aware of everything that is inside you. And the things that you want to change in yourself, sometimes are the things that you want to change in the relationship you hold.
Hit the pause button. Rewind. Try to understand that the way they communicate things will always be a little bit different from you and that is completely okay. Press play. Adapt.
I believe that the relationships we hold, whether they are romantic in nature or not, all teach us something about ourselves. Growing pains are never easy, they are painful, and this is no different. It’s easier to forget that we are not perfect humans and just put the blame on someone else.
Nothing easy in this life is worth having, not like the things that take hard work.
Who knows… you just might find your fairytale in the relationships that you work hard at after all.