Someone once told me that they wished they could make time stop when they were with me. That our time together never lasted long enough and it hurt saying goodbye. Cheesy?
I don’t think so.
It always felt like time was running in hyper-speed when we were together. We would sit down and get lost in each other. The buzzing of our phones became background noise that slowly turned silent. Our conversations were deep, endless. But at the end of it all, we were always saying goodbye and not hello.
I would hope that the things that we talked about, the moments that we spent together would be something that we could reminisce about later. I would contemplate the time that would pass between our conversations and the next time we could see each other. I would hope that it wouldn’t be so long. But it always is.
So, I too wish I could stop the hands of time when we are together. I don’t want that brief moment to end. I don’t want to be without you.
I don’t want to sit there, long after you have left, thinking about you. I don’t want to replay the words you said to me, over and over. I don’t want to scroll through pictures of you just to see the smile that is on your face.
I don’t want you on the screen of my phone. I want you in person, I want to feel you.
I want to hear the authenticity of your words when you say those things to me. I want to hear how they roll off your tongue. I want to hear the sweetness, the stutters, the genuineness. I want to observe the way your face changes, the way your body pulls me in a little closer. I want to see your nuances, your movements, your natural way of expression.
So, I want to freeze those moments with you. I want to stay in them for as long as I can. Because there is really no other place I would rather be than right next to you.
I want to hold the pause button down each time the sparks flow from your fingertips to mine. I want to feel alive with the way you look at me. I want to relive those first moments, first embraces, first kisses.
I’m willing to rewatch it all – the sweetest parts of our story.
Because my memory isn’t the greatest with age, the little details slowly slip from my conscience. No matter how special they are, time will betray me, it will take them away.
I want to have them printed in my brain, where I can access them every time I want them. They will be there to remind me of the reasons that I fell for you and all of the reasons that you deserve to be in my life.
I want to live in a world where time doesn’t fly by with the blink of an eye. Time shouldn’t be something that we have to worry about. Time should always be on our side. I want to be able to see each and every day with you.
I wish I could just stop time because I am scared that I may lose you entirely.
Because you are a person that I have grown to care for. A person that I want the best for. A person that makes me smile with a few words. A person that makes the room a little warmer and my heartbeat speed up.