One day… that’s what we always said. Do you remember?
It’s a day that I both look forward to and am deathly afraid of. I don’t know when it will come or how it will happen. I don’t know if when our paths finally cross again we will see each other and everything will just fall back into place or if we will sit silently and regret being there. Will I be over you? Will you be over me? Will we just become a part of each other’s past stories that don’t have to be relived?
Because you are so much more than that. You were always someone that I needed, that I wanted so badly. But due to time and circumstance, it just wasn’t there – no matter how much we wanted it. And I was left looking at myself, looking at you, wondering if we would ever not be star-crossed.
Because I felt it, you felt it. It was like we had known each other across time and space, when we touched sparks danced between our fingertips. Like in each prior lifetime we had met, fallen in love, and who knows. We came together more deeply than either of us ever thought possible, neither of us could describe it.
But sometimes, meant to be doesn’t always mean meant to be right now. It means that there is some connection that is so bittersweet that it joins together two hearts but keeps them apart.
Because there were moments when we got so close. Moments where you touched me and I touched you and everything else slipped away. Moments where we jumped in and jumped right back out. Moments when something else got in the way.
Because we never knew what the next step was meant to be. Or maybe we just didn’t know how to move from friendship to romance without losing each other if it didn’t work out.
But I do know this, I will always be searching for you, for our one day.
Because even though we are strangers now, I know that we could pick it all back up where we left it – we could put the pieces back together.
Because you forever changed my life. You left your mark and it is not easily erased.
But I want you to know, that even if it takes the next 100 lifetimes, I will find you. I will always find you.
Because you changed my life and turned my world upside down. You allowed me to open up my eyes to a love that is so pure and genuine that nothing else would ever come close. You gave me something no one else could, a best friend whom I could love with all I had and know that it was returned tenfold.
Because you made me believe in our one day. A day when the stars would align, no matter how old we got. A day when we could fall into each others arms and never let go. A day where running away isn’t an option or a choice.
But there is no way to know when this day will come, or if it ever will. I will go on my days, living my life the only way that I know how.