This is going to go against what everyone says to do when it comes to keeping people in your life – especially when it comes to those relationships that end up not working. You don’t have to listen to a word I say; maybe I am wrong, but it has worked for me.
I’m the type of person who is on good terms with most everyone that has walked into my life. Whether I talk to these people or not, I know that a lot of them would only say kind things about me and, in return, I would do the same. I was always close with the boys that broke my heart after they did so. And the ones that didn’t care about me as much as I cared about them, I stepped back and remained friends with them. I would never remove them from my life.
Why? Because I don’t feel that it is necessary to lose a friend just because they don’t feel the same way towards me. Keeping a friend is always more important.
Besides, there are ways to get over your feelings and people without having to lose them completely. Trust me, even when they say that you are supposed to let go completely. They say that if you keep them around that you will never heal. They will tell you to move on and pretend that they don’t exist.
But that isn’t so easy when your heart is involved. Nothing leaves your heart completely, there will always be traces of them somewhere. So, why would you make it harder on yourself?
Behind those feelings that you have developed is usually a core friendship. The one that you built all of those other feeling on. You shouldn’t lose that. You shouldn’t have to chalk it up to nothing just because the feelings aren’t reciprocated. Yeah it is going to fucking suck for a little bit, you’ll probably even cry yourself to sleep a few times. You’ll be upset but then you will come to terms with it, you will realize what is more important to you and to them. Because when you come to love someone, and really love them, you choose them no matter what – you keep them in your life in any form.
Because the strongest relationships you will ever have are with the people that know you better than you know yourself. The love stories that you hear about, even if they aren’t romantic in your case. These are the people that you wanted to love you but for some reason or another they just couldn’t – and that’s okay. There is a lot to be said for those people who continue to fight for one another even after things haven’t gone according to plan. That respect, that honesty can’t be found anywhere else.
Those people know how much it hurt you to take a step back, they respect you for respecting them. It is one that is built around the understanding that you have forgiven them for hurting you and still being able to move forward. And then there is the respect that you, yourself have for them because they chose to keep you around too. You should respect yourself for this, it isn’t easy.
Because all of this makes you stronger not weaker. It tells a lot about your character, going against the norm, and allowing yourself to keep the people that you care about in your life.
We are constantly being told what to do, who to keep in our lives. So, we listen and let go of the ones we care about. We don’t respond to their messages because we don’t want to lead them on or have them hurt us. We let go of relationships that mean a lot to us, to them, because we think it is the right thing to do. But you just have to be a little like me, believe that the strength comes from holding on. Then you allow yourself to get over them, it might take a little while but that’s okay. There’s beauty in getting over them without having to lose them.
Before you know it you won’t be searching for them from across the room. You’ll be laughing alongside them about how much you have been through together.
Yes, there will always be a piece of you that loves them but it turns into something that no longer consumes you. And that’s what it is important to keep them around. They will know how much you actually love them. They will know that it is rare to have someone feel so deeply in their lives. Down the road, this will be beneficial – trust me.
Because these are the people who end up knowing you better than you know yourself, the ones who want what’s best for you. They have seen you fall in and out of love, grow, and strengthen. It is these people that end up loving you the most, maybe not in the way you had once wanted, but they love you the best they know how.