Choice is described as an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more opportunities. We make these decisions daily: from getting out of bed to brushing our teeth, who is going to text first, who is going to call first. Life is made up of so many of these decisions and most of them are insignificant.
However, there are also times when we don’t get to choose what happens to us – it just does, for whatever reason. We don’t get to decide and we don’t get a say. We don’t even realize it is happening and all of a sudden it dawns on us that it has. There are a handful of moments like this in our lives, the one I’m talking about now is love.
Falling in love with someone is not a choice, it just happens. It happens unexpectedly and sometimes with the last person we thought of. Sometimes it happens too soon or too late.
Love will always choose us, not the other way around. When it happened to me, I just sort of knew. I knew that it was you. And when I realized this, I knew it had always been you. I was content with the fact that if I could get a message from you or see your smile daily, that would be enough – I would be the luckiest person.
I also knew that with loving you came risk. I was giving a piece of myself to you, on a silver platter, giving you every opportunity to destroy me. It was a chance I was willing to take. Why? Because you had somehow become the most important person in my life. Somehow you were all I could think of. Somehow every song was about you. I was hopeful.
I am hopeful.
Because having you around makes each day better. On the toughest days I know that you will be there to pick me back up. I know that you will be there to hold me in your arms and let me rant for hours. I know that when you look me in the eyes, you feel it too. You know that when it’s your time, I will do that same for you.
Because that is what love really is. A mixture of hope and fear residing within someone other than yourself. Love isn’t something that can be described by other words – the dictionary would never be able to get it right. You can’t put what you feel into words and when you do it is a mess.
But I can tell you this:
Love is reckless, it takes hold like a hurricane and makes a chaotic mess of your thoughts and emotions. But love is also the calm that happens afterwards. It is the peace that you find when everything else seems terrible. Love is a comfort. It is being able to put your trust in someone or something else without needing something in return. Love is able to accept our imperfections and see them as perfection. Love is confusing and difficult. A risk that anyone of us would gladly take. But above all else, loving someone and having that love returned is the most wonderful, extraordinary, and beautiful thing about life.