No one is born with a dislike, a hatred towards someone – it is taught. So, it is safe to say that the same thing is truth for the relationship you have with yourself. Somewhere along the way, during your travels through life, someone or something has taught you to dislike the person who is staring back at you in the mirror. That the person that you see looking back at you doesn’t deserve appreciation, respect, and love.
Maybe it was the magazine or your favourite CW drama. Your parents, a sibling, some other member of your family. Someone who you look up to. A friend. An ex. The one that you love. The one that you think loves you.
Darling, it is going to take time to forget the things that you have learned along the way. It is going to take courage and confidence – a little positivity goes a long way. But it can happen.
So, darling, think about a few parts of yourself that you don’t like. Every single flaw and shortcoming. All of the reasons why you have come to the place that you are right now. All of the reasons why you don’t like your reflection.
Do you have it?
Now like the white floaties that you blow off a dandelion, let them blow away in the wind. Let go of your insecurities and your doubts. All of those things that you can’t change, let them go too.
Stop comparing yourself to the people you see gracing the cover of magazines and the people of your favourite TV shows. They have a team behind them that makes them look perfect. Stop saying that you will be more happy when you’ve lost a little more weight, when you go in for that surgery, when you go to the gym, when you hit your goals, when you get that job. You get the point, right?
Stop promising yourself that when the future comes, self-love will come along with it. Stop allowing yourself to critique the unique being that you are.
You are special just the way you are. You are one of a kind. Darling, start learning how to appreciate who you are.
Stop vocalizing all of your doubts, your insecurities and project a positivity that makes everyone gravitate towards you. Stop allowing yourself to wear the things that you hate about yourself for everyone to see. Stop trying to be the same as everyone else. Enough with the apologies, when you accept who you are so will everyone else. Start looking at yourself in the mirror with such hope, an admiration for the person staring back.
It is time to put yourself first. And I know that it is going to be hard. I know what it is like to put everyone else before yourself. I know what it is like to love someone else so deeply and wanting it to be felt back. You might not know how to do it now, how to love yourself, but you will. I believe in you. Train yourself to see the beauty that surrounds you, the beauty that you give off.
If you want to change, change the things that you have control over. If there are goals and aspirations that you can’t wait to achieve, start them – work towards the positive side of life. Don’t limit yourself to the self-love you think you deserve just because your insecurities are still there. Every single person on the planet has something that they don’t like about themselves. The only difference between them and you is that they aren’t letting it define them.
Even if you don’t know where the insecurities came from, you shouldn’t let them define you. Let go of the words someone said to you years ago. Stop letting them destroy you. It’s enough. Their words towards you speak more to who they are then who you are. Darling, let it go, you are enough.
Maybe you aren’t where you want to be, but you will get there. Self-love will be waiting when you get there.
You have to love yourself before you can find your big love. Build yourself up. Have positive conversations in your head. Reflect on the good things that happened in your day. Remember to smile. Remember to treat yourself like you would your best friend. Remember to say I love you to yourself.