Growing Up

Remember when you were younger and all you wanted to do was be a grown up so you could do all the things that you wanted to do? Remember how when you were younger it all seemed so easy? Hell, you got to do whatever you wanted – whenever you wanted to. Well, welcome to reality folks.

Growing up is hard. Life and all of its components are tough. There are so many demands, and so many of them become so perplexing that it leaves you stressed – it leaves you lost. And let’s not forget that you have to figure out who you are as all of these changes are happening.

Then you have the rest of the world telling you how you should be living your life. We have so many articles or people influencing our decisions it is hard to figure out what we really want to do. We see people making a bucket list of things that don’t seem possible with the means that you have; you see others making so much money and throwing it away. You see things on what you should check off before you are 30 or 40 and realize that you only have a handful checked off.

We also have the flip-side. So many of us are sitting back and watching the world move on without us. We hit the standard but it isn’t glamorous or drool-worthy. There is a good chance that you are sitting back and haven’t achieved something significant in your life.

Being younger we all had this picture of a life that we wanted to live. Are you living yours? When we were younger we were never prepped for the reality of being an adult. We didn’t think that we would still be figuring out things or that we would be stuck somewhere in the middle. But the reality is, the things we pictured as kids never came and if you are the odd person where it did – it wasn’t as easy as you thought it would be, was it?

We sit and drool over the filter-perfect lives of others and become full of envy because they are leading the life we thought we would have by now. We measure our success and happiness by comparing it to others and then we feel like we are under-achievers. We cringe at the idea that we are not making the most of our lives.

But we are just driving ourselves crazy. We have to stop obsessively comparing our lives to others. We have to try to clear our thoughts of where everyone else is and figure out how to be content with where we are. We have to stop with the daily reminders that we still have so much to do, we still have so much money to make, we still have so many places to see.

What we fail to understand is that it is okay to be lost. It is okay if you don’t have it all figured out, it is okay if you have nothing figured out. Life is something that we have to experience on our own time and not someone else’s.

You shouldn’t be thinking of your failures. Yeah, there are going to be days when you have hit a slump and your life seems like it is going nowhere. There will be other days where you don’t love the person staring back at you in the mirror. Your income won’t amount to what you thought it should be at, and you will feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. But there is no Neverland for us to run to. These feelings and more are okay, every single person – whether they admit it or not – feels like this at some point or another.

Life is supposed to be this way, it is not a dream come true, that would be too easy. Your life, my life, will come with a series of struggles, pit-stops, and constant reflection. You shouldn’t demote your life because someone else is succeeding. Not everyone is supposed to have the same story or follow the same path to achieve their great successes. The sooner you can come to accept that, the better. The mental checklist that we all have will be ticked off, in time, when it’s meant to happen and not any sooner.

So, it is fine that you don’t have your dream house or car. That you aren’t married or have kids yet. That you haven’t quite figured out how your body works. That you don’t know how not to let people walk all over you. That you aren’t making six figures.

Change happens, and big changes are coming. Relationships will make you mad and you will suck at them more times than you will light it up. The gradual change from strangers to friends to lovers won’t necessarily always happen in that order and you eventually learn to live with it. People and friends will come and go as they please, and the ones that are meant to be in your life will find a way to stay there. It’s a rollercoaster we’re on, so enjoy the ride.

I am not saying that you should wander around aimlessly and set low standards for yourself. I am saying that whatever you decide to choose to do in life should be what you want and not someone else’s. Everything in your life should be inspired by your own hopes and dreams. You should not live in the shadow of someone else, you are meant to shine. You are the only YOU and you have to do the best you can do with the situation that is laid out for you. And no matter what, whatever or wherever you find yourself now, is okay.

You are okay.

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