Are you a fan of small talk?
I’m not, never have been. It’s why it is so hard for me to start getting to know someone. Meaningless conversation to fill gaps and silences is not for me – some of the time that just calls out that there is no chemistry. I refuse to believe that I don’t meet people for a reason.
The universe put you in my path for a reason.
Skip the small talk. Be nosy and find out all of the juicy details about someone – the hard things that they don’t want to tell anyone else. There are worse things in this world that you can be – being inquisitive and talking are not one of them. It isn’t a crime to figure people out or to be intrigued by the hard stuff. Forgive yourself for being the person who notices when someone is sitting alone and going up to them. Forgive yourself for asking a million and one questions. Forgive yourself for being you.
Allow yourself to find the good apples among a few rotten ones. Show them that your soul and intentions are good. You are friendly and are just trying to make a genuine connection – you can’t do that by asking about the weather or if they enjoyed their lunch.
If they are having a bad day tell them that you are there to listen. Tell them it is okay to make mistakes and that you will end up growing from them. Tell them that gentle souls are the best souls and should be treated that way. Tell them pride won’t get them anywhere and should be put on the back burner. Tell them anger and frustration won’t bring peace.
Tomorrow is another day, you can’t always think about it. You are here, today, it is meant to be lived to the fullest. Tell them that it is okay to feel alone and betrayed because you feel it too. Tell them that they should never settle for anything less than they deserve; we are all kings and queens of our own hearts and they demand to have everything. Stop worrying about what everyone else wants and do what you want. If that’s calling up a friend and talking for hours, do it. Be as open and as honest as you can be, they will thank you one day.
Your feelings are always valid – always. Every single person deserves the truth. If you don’t want to be in someone’s life, tell them. The worst thing you can do is leave them in the dust without a single word said. Know that everyone should be let down softly. There is no need to be rude or strike someone out just because your feelings have changed and theirs haven’t.
Always prepare yourself for late night and early mornings. Turn up the music and allow yourself to let loose. It is okay to break the rules once in a while and live recklessly. You are the best judge when it comes to your mind and body. If something feels right, do it. You are only here once. Remember those who are not honest with you don’t deserve your heart, they started it. Find grace and solace in losing yourself because you can’t go back in time to change anything. What is done is done.
Let yourself be lost in someone.
Small talk is a waste of time.
Small talk is for shallow encounters.
If you need to fill the silence, fill it with meaning.
Who cares if he broke the rules and kissed you. Who cares if you brought her a little closer to your heart. Who cares if you abandoned all of your morals for someone you barely knew, it was raw and honest – it happened. It’s an admirable thing to fall for someone and to be lost in the moment.
One day you will be filled with silences that are filled with meaning. You will be full and happy, you won’t want to escape the life you are living. The voids that you feel right now will not longer be spent with random people, you will have found your person. You do you, on your own terms.
One day you will be surrounded by your close friends, laughing. One day you will be with your own family playing board games on a Friday night. You will look back and laugh thinking about all the times that you went out and could have stayed in. You will realize that your cup is filled and there are hardly any people around you that won’t to dump it out.
Be brave. Be smart. Be raw.
Leave the small talk to someone else. Fill the voids with what you love.