Remember her, the one you had waited so long to have back in your life. The one that you made a promise to. The one you said you couldn’t wait to see. The one who kept that smile on your face. Yes, her, do you remember her? The way she made you feel, maybe the way she still makes you feel. Do you regret the way you pushed her away without giving her a second thought? Do you regret filling her mind with thoughts that made her feel like you would be the one to stick around? Do you?
Remember that smile and the way her eyes shone every time you saw her? The smile that was uniquely plastered on her face because of you. The way her cheeks got a subtle blush and her eyes squinted a little. How bright the room got when she entered it. Do you realize that it is starting to fade? The pictures she has sent you have started to reflect moving on and not moving closer. Has it occurred to you that you’re going to miss it? Has it crossed your mind the reasons why it changed? Have you?
When you realize that smile returns, you’ll realize it’s no longer reserved for you.
You’ll regret the moment that you allowed her to let go of you. As you look down at your phone and her name no longer pops up, responding to your messages. You’ll start to miss the way her fingers fit perfectly interlocked between yours. You’ll start to miss her icy hands that she placed on your back; knowing you should be the one to keep her warm. And, if you see her again, you’ll notice the distance that she is keeping from you – she no longer wants to let you in.
Remember the way you went out of your way to talk to her? How it was a high, a subtle rush that coursed through your veins. Does it bother you now that she no longer instant replies? Does it bother you that days can go by and she doesn’t bother to reach out? The days will continue to pass like this. You will find yourself yearning for her attention, craving it back. Her attention has moved on, she has let go.
You’ll regret the moment that you allowed her to let go of you. You’ll feel the chilling sensation of not being near her warm heart. You’ll feel the kindness slip between the cracks and her ray of light will no longer touch you. By then, hopefully you will realize that you had taken her kindness, her heart, her friendship for granted.
You’ll regret the moment that you allowed her to let go of you. You will, trust me. She is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. She deserved better than being your vacation away from home. She could have been your destiny, maybe she still is, but you have denied yourself of ever finding out. You lost your chance.