The Trouble I’m In

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There are people who come into your life and you are ricocheted backwards from your place. You sit back, looking at them, realizing that they have been exactly what you were looking for. They make you lose all sense of reality, of space, of time. They instantly become something your soul calls to and you never even recognized them as something that could one day, mean so much.

Now, these people never come into your life at the right time. They are the people who are unexpected and represent something meaningful in our lives. They are the ones who make you want to give into what they bring to the table, give into the risks. They make you want to get lost in their words, in their eyes, in their body. They instantly become your fleeting moment.

She was the person he overlooked for a long time. Maybe he wondered about her a little too much or not enough. Maybe he was too scared or maybe the circumstance surrounding picking up the phone and creating a message, would cost too much. She had these eyes, eyes that captivated him from the moment he met her.

He was the type of person that she stopped scrolling through Facebook for. Maybe it was because his smile was infectious or maybe it was because she turned him down so many years ago. She wasn’t going to be the one to put her foot out in the cold water to see how he was doing but she constantly wondered.

He took the first step. She leaped in. It was like they were instantly connected in some serendipitous, interstellar way. They hadn’t seen each other in person for years and when I say years… I mean years. By the second conversation they were already typing out the same words to each other without even realizing it only to fall victim to laughter and the stares of onlookers – because how many people look at their phone and have a literal LOL moment, not many.

She knew from the moment it started, it was going to be trouble. He was something she had never experienced and craving him became second nature. She needed more and talking wasn’t getting them anywhere.

He knew his circumstance. He knew hers. There was just so many what ifs that plagued their every conversation that it was worth it all. She became something he missed when he couldn’t talk to her, when her smile faded from his thoughts.

It is easy to give in to the trouble. It is easy for someone to become your favourite medicine. It is easy to get lost in what ifs. It is easy to forget about the risk.

She became his hardest goodbye. He became her easiest hello.

All they wanted was to feel each other, in some way. Being so far away from each other, from something that was growing quickly, wasn’t helping. The temptations grew. Songs started to remind them of each other. He wanted her so bad. She was growing more curious. The spark was growing into an ember and all bets were off.

Together, they shared a cosmic connection.

That moment when they came into physical contact. The innocent grabbing of hands and putting arms around each other. Pulling one another as close as possible. Now, she knew right from wrong, but the thoughts that came to her mind the instant his lips touched hers; wrong suddenly felt right. What they had built up with each conversation only escalated that day.

He moved slowly, not wanting to break what was beginning. This was something he had wanted for a long time and nothing was going to make it less than spectacular. He wanted to reach out and make her his.

She didn’t care for the slow rhythm he was taking. She wanted it all and didn’t want to take her time. She grew breathless. She wanted to be his map, she wanted him to explore every crevice and nook. She wanted him to give in.

Together, they became a shooting star.

Wandering hands. Innocent kisses. Soft moans. Reckless abandon. Unbutton, unzip, undo. Breaking all the rules. Unravelling of what was left of their decency.

Together, they burned brightly.

 He was the trouble she was in. She was his favourite medicine.

Together, they left behind a shining trail into darkness.

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