She Was the Right Girl

Have you ever thought about the people in your life and wondered if they were the right one at the wrong time? The one that got away? Do you ever think about what could have been or what should have been? If you made one move too many or too less? Are you thinking about that person now, as you are reading the words before you?

If so, let’s begin.

On a few occasions I have been told that I am a person that is hard to forget. Whether that is because I am an easy person to talk to or because I can easily dig my way into the crevice of someone’s heart and stay there for a lifetime. I have never really figured it out. Am I just the one that got away or am I the one your heart calls to for some unknown reason to both of us? That question will sit there, unanswered, because quite frankly I don’t want to know. We are at this point in our lives now, not together, for a reason. We were meant to be just the way we are.

Or are we?

For many reasons I think the reason why we think about the one that got away so often isn’t because they are the one for us, the only one. It is because we were left, sitting there waiting for questions to be answered and it never happened. We were left there in the dust, coughing but still waiting for them to come back. We are left, now, with words that are slowly fading and memories that hurt too much to bring back up.

I can’t you get you out of there, can you get me out?

Maybe the reason that the one person you are thinking of now is still tangled up in your mind is because you see them too often. Whether you have them on some form of social media, message them every now and again, or they are actually still in your life physically just not romantically. Maybe, just maybe, those ties have to be cut. To keep you from breaking down your walls, to keep you from wondering what went wrong, to keep you from asking all those unanswered questions over again.

Me and you, we can’t keep this going. This mental torment. Let go.

I am not the one person to give the best advice here. I live inside books and am constantly thinking. Whether my thoughts lead to you or they lead me somewhere else, I am always thinking. I wonder and I dream. Maybe too frequently, maybe not enough. At a certain point though, I do tell myself: you can’t keep thinking about this, it didn’t happen, move on. If I always thought about the one that got away or the person that I found at the wrong time, I would break down. But I will tell you this, even when I tell myself to stop, looking back and getting to feel that again – it is nice.

Do you smile like that for everyone? Or is it just mine?

There will never be enough time to go back and pinpoint what went wrong. There will never be a conclusion to why the wrong time happens. There will never be the chance to explore the things that could have happened. There just will never be because it is rare, damn is it ever rare, that those people will actually come back to you the way you want them to. Where the wrong time turns into the right time. There are just too many circumstances that will lead you in the wrong direction and never back to them. It breaks my hopeless romantic heart, but the truth does hurt in this case.

Star-crossed, that’s what you always said.

For whatever time we may have had or will have, know this. You meant something to me then and if I am honest with myself, you still mean something to me now. The time that we had together our lives intertwined and I knew at that point, there would be no coming back. You left an impact, a mark that I will never forget, even though I should. I will be forever thankful for the limited amount of time that we had. I’ll be forever thankful that you showed me something new.

If two hearts are meant to be, they will find a way.

Please know, that even if you have someone who got away or you were someones who got away, you creep up on them when they least expect it. You are their what if. While they may never long for you the way you long for them, and vice versa, you still creep up on them too. Mistakes were made, they can’t be taken back. You taught them lessons just like they taught you a few. They and you probably wouldn’t be the person they and you are today. So, be thankful for that. At least, you got a whirlwind of emotions and a lifetime of memories.

What I miss the most, I miss my best friend.

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